Introduction
Modern leadership demands a skillful balance of vision, adaptability, and interpersonal acumen. Leaders today operate under unprecedented complexity and pressure. The roles require assertiveness, emotional intelligence, and, above all, the ability to foster engagement and commitment amidst continual change.
Speaking Up Without Creating Division
Talented executives often encounter resistance to their ideas in collaborative settings. In a recent session, an executive I’ll call Alex described how a thoroughly reviewed project proposal was largely overlooked by colleagues in a team meeting. Rather than escalating tension or disengaging, Alex explored ways to use curiosity to shift the dynamic. By asking questions such as “What concerns stand out to you about this plan?” or “Which risks should we examine more closely?” the tone moved from debate to dialogue. This approach clarified points of disagreement while helping build ownership and trust.
This technique is consistent with Edgar Schein’s concept of humble inquiry, which demonstrates leadership not only by advocating for one’s perspective but also by inviting the expertise and concerns of others. Facilitative questioning remains one of the most reliable strategies for gaining traction on important initiatives.
Balancing Assertiveness and Empathy
Assertiveness and openness to others’ perspectives can be in tension. In another recent engagement, a vice president named Carolina sought to influence senior leadership without appearing adversarial. By reframing her communication and linking her proposals to organizational objectives, while explicitly inviting other viewpoints, she fostered greater collaboration and support. Assertiveness backed by an understanding of leadership priorities becomes a driver for progress, not polarization.
Emotional Intelligence: Core to Effective Leadership
Emotional intelligence continues to distinguish effective leaders. In a recent team workshop, it became clear that some members felt their contributions were overlooked, leading to diminished morale and creativity. Using frameworks like the Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team and self-awareness tools such as DiSC, participants identified how their habits could either facilitate or hinder collaboration.
One participant recognized a tendency to dominate discussions, which unintentionally discouraged others. After practicing active listening and intentionally soliciting colleagues’ perspectives—using questions like “What solutions come to mind for you here?”—the team dynamics shifted. Collaboration and engagement improved, and solutions became more comprehensive and innovative.
Strategic Questioning: Elevating Team Performance
Strategic questioning is an essential leadership skill. Well-formulated questions—whether open-ended, reflective, or probing—encourage honest dialogue and drive discovery. In a session addressing accountability in a leadership team, questions such as “What specific actions are helping or hindering our progress?” led to greater clarity and actionable commitments.
Examples of Coaching Questions
Here are some examples I often use in coaching sessions:
- Open-Ended Questions: Encourage expansive thinking.
- What opportunities do you see in this challenge?
- Reflective Questions: Prompt deeper self-awareness.
- How does this situation align with your long-term goals?
- Probing Questions: Explore underlying assumptions.
- Can you tell me more about why this approach feels risky?
Colleagues and clients often ask how to gain buy-in or inspire new thinking among their teams or superiors. Reflective questions such as “What other approaches could move this forward?” or “What outcomes do we all want from this process?” tend to reduce resistance and promote self-reflection.
Practical Recommendations for Leaders
- Practice humble inquiry. Begin meetings by inviting others’ perspectives.
- Balance assertiveness with empathy. State your view clearly, but connect your approach with shared objectives.
- Prioritize emotional intelligence. Assess how your emotions and communication style affect your team’s climate and engagement.
- Use strategic questioning. Guide teams to reflect on root issues and alternative viewpoints.
- Model and encourage reflection. After decisions or projects, debrief with questions such as “What worked well?” and “What would we do differently next time?”
Moving Forward
Effective leadership today is less about having the right answers and more about fostering a climate for learning and collaboration. Curiosity, empathy, and clarity in communication continue to be the foundation for trusted relationships and sustainable results.
Consider how you can create more space for others’ ideas and voices. Where might you use strategic questioning to unlock new insights? Balancing assertiveness and empathy will strengthen your influence and impact within your organization.
The challenges are significant, but so are the opportunities for meaningful growth and leadership.